


Endings and Beginnings in The Long Game

by Nikkita18



Series: Ravenfyre Legacy [2]
Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-16
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-09 01:16:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8870086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikkita18/pseuds/Nikkita18
Summary: We know the story of what happened with Malavai Quinn during the Sith Warrior saga,  but the reasons behind the stories are rarely so simple.





	1. Endings

**Author's Note:**

> Be patient with my prose. I had issues with the Quinn story line and wrote this several years ago. I came to realize I would never be fully satisfied and am finally posting. This occurs after the mission on Voss and before they reach Corellia.

Malavai Quinn sat back in his chair and rubbed tired eyes. The intelligence reports in front of him no longer made sense. He suspected it had more to do with the lateness of the hour and tired eyes than with the quality of the reports. He had been reviewing the data for hours looking for something that hinted as to what Darth Baras' next steps would be. He was a trained strategist and tactician, but nothing would help him save the woman he loved if he didn't have the necessary data. There was nothing in any of these to help him pinpoint what Darth Baras' next move would be. 

He stood for a moment, moving a little to stretch tired muscles and hopefully wipe the cobwebs from his head. He had been having trouble concentrating since their trip to Quesh. He had blamed himself - if he had been there instead of Vette, he might have been able to predict what was about to happen. The familiar cold rage began to creep up his spine. Malavai needed to control his thoughts. He had to remain calm - analytical. He was not powerful when he was angry like his wife who turned her emotion into a destructive storm. His strengths came from cold reasoning. He needed to analyze the situation to find a solution.

The day they had returned to the ship to find the crew unconscious and nearly dead, he had watched Jaera's anger make her powerful and reveled in what she could do to protect them. She had beaten Baras' new apprentice three times before throwing him off the walkway into the fires below. That moment, like no other, had cemented his belief in her vision of how the Empire could be. Power controlled with fairness to bring them forward into a new age.

They had held each other that night and she had confided in him about her upbringing. She told him how she met Vette and how Vette had taught her that caring was a strength. Jaera hadn't believed love or affection were anything but fodder for romantic stories. Her upbringing had been cold and stark. Being from one of the wealthier Sith families, she had been raised by caretakers who were properly scared of her family and no one had touched her ever. 

When she had exhibited exceptional early talent in the force, her parents began to show some interest, but it had been around how her gift could bring honor and fame to the family. Until Vette had surprised her with a hug, she had never been touched with affection. She told him of her panic at seeing the crew lying unconscious or dead in front of the ship. She felt that the only reason she could move forward was because Malavai had been with her. She knew she couldn't have borne losing him.

Malavai had felt useless to do more than hold her. All he had been able to think of at the time was .... Please let me be equal to keeping her alive ... I can't lose her. When he had been unable to tell her what had been running through his mind, he had taken the coward's way out and silenced her with a kiss, hoping that making love with her would express all that he couldn't seem to say. Their life, her vision, and her happiness had replaced his career as the driving force in his life. But he was not a poetic or spontaneous man - he could never frame the words in person to tell her what he thought or felt. Fortunately, she seemed to see the things he meant and care for him despite his stumbling. It was the miracle of his life.

He stood and stretched his back. He had told her he would not come to her tonight as he needed to spend time with the latest intel reports. That didn't seem to be helping him, he thought wryly. The truth was that he couldn't read these reports of how Baras had treated her without becoming angry and she didn't need his anger. She needed a strategy.

His room was small and very neatly kept. Most nights he spent with Jaera now, but he found it more convenient to keep these quarters for his office. A noise interrupted his reverie and he frowned. He could swear he had just heard a beep or chirp nearby. 

As the noise sounded again, he tracked it to one of his desk drawers. He reached in quickly and pulled out the device. It was a long distance communicator. Without thinking, he pressed the button to activate it before his mind could process the situation and stop him. 

This was the device Darth Baras had given him when he had intervened to prevent Quinn's death by court martial. A device that he had told Quinn he could contact him on anytime and anywhere.

Darth Baras' voice, smooth like aged liquor, but tainted by the mask he wore registered before the figure on the holo-projector did. "I regret the late hour, but this is a conversation we must have alone." 

Quinn was stunned - whether more at the man's audacity or his own stupidity, he could not be sure. "Darth Baras," he acknowledged, years of training forcing his voice to civil when he felt like snarling. He ignored the thin tendrils of worry that tickled the back of his neck. What could the man hope to gain by calling him? He was aware that Quinn had married Jaera. He couldn't think to call in his debt now. Quinn owed his life and career to Baras, but he didn't owe him Jaera's.

"I have too much to say and too much respect for you to mince words, Quinn. I sense your worry. Your loyalty and concern for your wife do you credit. However they are at odds with your first love - for the Empire."

Disbelief was first on Quinn's mind. He knew that Jaera was everything that could be right with the Empire again. Baras knew he wouldn't still be with her after master and apprentice parted ways unless he did. Not after everything that happened with Moff Broysc.

His shock at Baras' next words left them roaring in his ears. "You are right - I do know you believe in her and that you have been doubly careful after the Moff Broysc issue. I also know you are a patriot and a master tactician.". 

Adrenaline, pumping through his veins, Quinn quickly processed that Baras had access to his personal thoughts or feelings and could use them. He began to shut down all thought and feeling with the practice he'd developed many years before he met his wife.. "The Emperor's absence has left us on the brink of collapse. Those that call themselves the Emperor's Hand seek to take advantage of that by bypassing the Dark Council and taking control of matters. They seek to destroy me by leading my apprentice astray. I have begun to bring stability back. By disrupting me, they disrupt that stability."

Quinn's mind cataloged the words of Baras' manifesto as he dealt with the idea that Baras could read his mind. Baras paused in his declaration and his smooth oval mask seemed to focus more squarely on Quinn, "Of course I can read your mind. You pledged yourself to me. You are my vassal and my greatest weapon. I trust you to bring my former apprentice an honorable death in battle. If I have to intervene with her, I will be forced to make a public example of her and bring her in for the council's entertainment. We don't want that, do we?"

Quinn fought to control his thoughts. "Of course not, my Lord; my concern is with how best to carry out your orders - as always." Ruthlessly, he disciplined all thought of Jaera from his mind. "I do, of course, regret this necessity, but I was your man before I was hers. I have not forgotten the debt I owe you for my life and career."

Baras' deep voice seemed to radiate approval and satisfaction. "I never thought that you would, Quinn." He paused to let that sink in to Malavai's brain. "I will honor the sacrifice you make here. You will be Moff Quinn when I am through. You will help make the Sith Empire great again"

Malavai kept his voice smooth. "Do you have a plan for this my lord?"

Baras' voice was smooth as well as he elaborated. "You will see the opportunity before you reach Corellian space. Tell her you have analyzed the situation and need a signal transmitter to get to Corellia. There is an automated imperial ship you can bring her to in order to get this done. I leave the details of execution to you. She will believe you. Just get this done and you will save the Empire and minimize her suffering. There are war droids on that ship that you can use to take her out. I expect that you will be able to program them appropriately?"

"Of course, my lord". There would be time to think this through later.

"Do not contact me again until your work is complete. There is too much risk of being caught. When you speak to me next I expect that you will be a widower and we will be making plans to make the Empire great again." With that, Baras signed off.

Quinn turned off the holotransmitter and dropped it blindly back in the drawer. Before he could form clear thought, his legs propelled him out of the office door and almost blindly down the corridor of the ship until he reached Jaera's room. He had to see her. Had to know that Baras' reach only extended to him, and that she was safe. He slipped into her ... their room and stood for a moment, trying to get his breathing under control. She slept there like an angel, Her pale hair loose behind her and her face serene as she dreamed. He almost staggered with relief and then shook himself. This was silly. He knew Baras couldn't touch her ... not unless he himself helped. Wasn't that the point of Baras' call? It was to get him to do what the dark council member had not been able to. He hadn't realized the depths of the connection he and Baras made the day he had pledged his loyalty. 

Until Darth Baras had tried to kill Jaera, Malavai had been grateful for that day. It had brought him the chance to gain his life back and later it had brought him his wife. Now, for the first time, he realized how incredibly naïve he had been about the danger he himself represented. He had been their chief strategist in the months following Baras' betrayal. Now with his mind open to Baras, he was their chief liability.

Why did Baras call him and how did he know Malavai would be there? There had to be a bug somewhere that had been missed. He knew that even someone of Baras' capability needed his voice on the line to read his mind, etc. This raised the question. What would he do?

He moved to the chair near their bed where he normally sat to take off his boots. With his eyes blind to all but her sleeping form, his mind raced to find the moment his judgment had begun to go awry.

The first tactic taught at the Imperial Academy was the long game. It was the idea that if you waited long enough, were smart enough and patient enough, that you could turn situations to your advantage once your opponent dropped their guard. Malavai's first hint that he would be good at tactics came from that class and the realization that his life had been one long "long game".

From the time he was very small he knew that nothing could be gained without waiting and planning. His life had been full of waiting; first for parents who told him that his time at the Academy was the best thing they could give him, and then never returned. Second for some power of his own so that he could control his own life. He never thought about love. He never thought about family. All he wanted was some control in his own life and he was willing to put the time and patience into getting it.

Quinn was a stellar student. His time at the Academy was marked by strong grades and high aptitude scores. It was there he perfected his long game by studying the great tacticians of all time. He had no real friends. While he treated everyone with honor, he lacked the spark of fun that people wanted in a friend. Since he could not remember a time he had not been at the Imperial Academy, he could not remember a time where he had been able to play or do anything that wasn't about learning or duty. He always could be counted on to do the correct and logical thing in an honorable manner.

He excelled at tactics - specializing in combat predictions that took into account the people they were made for. His classmates called him a machine when he was able to predict their actions with 98% certainty. He just knew he was observant and detached. That allowed him to judge situations without the emotional content and evaluate reactions. 

Directly out of the academy he was given a position in Moff Broysc's command. At that time he was considered lucky - this was a very good job. He had studied Broysc's battles at the academy and considered him to be one of the greatest tacticians of all time. Once in the job, Quinn thrived. He had a knack for military life and process. His skills at predicting outcome led to saving lives and while he wasn't overly well liked, he was respected for what he could do. With that, he was content.

The reality of working under Moff Broysc came as a shock. At first he put the Moff Broysc's moods down to brilliance. He thought that perhaps all brilliant men had quirks. When the quirks began to get people killed, Quinn could ignore them no more. He began to look for alternatives. During the battle of Druckenwall, when the Moff gave the command to send men to their deaths needlessly, he knew he could wait to act no longer. He saved the men and Broysc ended his career. It was only due to Darth Baras' intervention that Quinn was not court-martialed and put to death for his actions. In gratitude, Quinn pledged his service to the Sith lord. Darth Baras' intervention for Quinn included a job on a backwater world called Balmorra and a promise that he would call on him to do great things. Quinn undertook his duties with dignity and bided his time.

When Baras ordered Quinn to help his apprentice on Balmorra, Quinn thought only of serving the empire and of doing his best to serve his mentor. He did not expect the young woman that walked in with calm and assessing eyes. She seemed very calm in herself. Her performance on their tasks surprised him and exceeded his expectations - even for a Sith. 

Although she did not seem to like him personally, she praised his efficient service to their master. He was surprised - never had anyone praised him for so little before. He was able to see that her Twi'lek companion was devoted to her and they behaved in the way of friends although there was no question who was in charge. It made him curious to see a different way of running things that appeared to have exceptional results.

When he was released from his duties on Balmorra, Quinn followed Jaera to the spaceport and offered his service. When she seemed hesitant, he dropped to one knee and again offered his loyal service. He had never been impulsive before and was surprised at how strongly he wanted to work with her. He was also surprised that the Twi'lek seconded his offer. She apparently felt that he would be valuable on the crew. 

He had certainly tried. Often his new superior appeared to tease him. Vette certainly did. He was unsure of how things worked there as Jaera and Vette seemed so informal with each other. It confused him to be so outside military protocol. The more uncomfortable he got, the more formal he got. He did not know how to behave. Jaera told him she appreciated his efforts, but he was still unable to talk to her about much. She seemed to count on him and took him on missions, but she always seemed to be watching him as if trying to figure him out.

She acceded to his request to let him pursue an unfinished project to capture an SIS agent. When he had returned, pleased with his success, her considering look had turned somewhat challenging. She had tilted her head suddenly and with a hint of challenge had suggested "You know, Quinn, you don't have to be so formal in private."

He had stammered and replied that any hint of personal relationship would compromise their working relationship. It had surprised him to feel a pang over the way the light in her eyes had died down. She responded somewhat coldly and left him alone. He knew now that as confident as she was, that had probably been her first ever attempt at flirting. Why she had chosen him, he would never know, but he still was thrilled and flattered that she had. 

It had taken him days to work up the courage to bring it up again. He had played all scenarios in his head and found that the possibility that she was interested in him left him restless and sleepless. He valued the new position serving his Empire. But he found that the thought of kissing her began to invade his thoughts constantly.

He bided his time and the next time he was sure no one was around, he asked for permission to speak freely. When she had granted it, he had spoken quickly so as to prevent himself from losing his nerve. He had explained that she perhaps inadvertently left him wondering about relationships. He had noted the way her amber eyes had begun to light up. He was never sure just how, but they had ended up kissing. His life had not been the same since. 

He had no cause to regret it. He had always thought happiness came from duty. Now, he found that it came from his position as part of a family. He had thought that a man with his focus on career would never have time for a family. There had been women before, but it had always been mutually agreed that they were temporary arrangements. He had never wanted a misunderstanding on that score. He never wanted anyone waiting for him. 

Now he had found a true partner who understood his devotion to the Empire. He believed in her vision for making it great again. He valued her insight and had come to appreciate her sense of humor - even to respond a little in kind when he could think of something to say. Most of all he had come to treasure the smallest of moments between them - a shared look, a small touch and the light that came into her eyes every time she saw him.

His mind ran through the possibilities. He had to decide what to do. No matter which way he considered the situation, the weak link was him. With Baras having access to his mind, there was no way to ensure that he would not get Jaera killed. 

He considered the options. First, handle it as he knew she would prefer - tell her everything. He knew her well enough to know that she would want to believe in him - to think he could fight Baras. This left a 95 percent certainty that knowledge gleaned from his mind would get her killed and a 75 percent chance that the rest of the crew would die with her, He knew her first thought would be to protect him - if she diverted her resources to make that happen, there was an 84.5% chance she would die. 

No matter which way he ran it, his connection to Baras would get her killed. The only clear choice was to take him out of the picture. He thought of just leaving, but the heartbreak of that would leave a 47% chance of her giving up and a 53% chance of dying. If he got himself killed, the numbers were similar. Knowing his Jaera - and he had made a study of everything about her in the last year- he would somehow have to convince her that he was a liability and should go away. The only thing that would work was betrayal. She would have to be very angry at him. He thought of the day they had come back to find everyone unconscious - maybe dead. It had been a sight to see her straighten her shoulders and attack the apprentice to save them. He had been so proud of her that day. She had let loose in front of him for the first time and he knew he would never want to be anywhere but at her side. 

The clarity of it came to him all at once. He would have to betray her. Baras was right, but for the wrong reason. He would have to betray Jaera so thoroughly she would cut him out of everything. So thoroughly she would kill him. The icy shock of the revelation hit him. He considered the possibility carefully. That would do it. Betray her to Baras and then make her so angry she would kill him. He ran the possibilities. This direction had a 92% likelihood of success. She would continue on the path before her. He calculated a 35% chance that she would kill him. Whether he lived and she sent him away in disgrace or he died and she moved forward, this would remove his threat with a 98% certainty. If he was going to trust the woman he loved to it, those were much better odds. He had no wish to die, but he would give his life for his wife and for their life in a heartbeat.

It was an 80 % chance that most if not all of the crew would live. He would need to find a way to make sure that no harm would come to Vette. If he were gone, she might be the only one to whom Jaera would turn. She would be there to cry with and talk to. 

It had been that affection that had led her to seek it from Malavai as well, but she had held back, unsure if he was really a kindred spirit. It had taken them so long to find each other. Quinn was forever grateful to Vette for the part she played in that and resolved to always be kind to her - no matter how much she irritated him. He had to make sure Jaera did not lose them both.

Baras had been insistent that Quinn use droids for the attack so Jaera could not sense them. This was something Quinn could use. He had to make the trap seem real but insure that nothing harmed her. He was an expert marksman. With 2 battle droids, he could make a credible fight. Once in the heat of battle, she would stop reasoning enough to allow her to kill him and maintain her safety forever. He would have to hurt her emotionally. He would threaten the crew. There was no halfway with this. He had to ensure that she hated him thoroughly. She would never be his again.

Jaera stirred then, looking at him with the light in her eyes that he knew was just for him. "Malavai," her words were soft from sleep. "are you going to come to bed husband?".  
For a moment, Quinn forgot about his resolve as he looked into her amber eyes. "Of course," he answered quietly. "but, I didn't mean to wake you."

Her sleepy gaze turned a playful. "Now that you have, what are you going to do about it .. hubby". The term had gone from a joke to a private endearment between them  
He slipped his boots off, stood and began taking off his jacket. "Well, wife," he said with a bit of emphasis on the word, "I will have to make that up to you."

He would give himself a present, just this once. He would have one last night with her before he set out to secure her future by ruining their happiness.


	2. Honor More - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is set one week after chapter one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Star Wars, or Richard Lovelace's poetry, but it seemed to fit here. Much of this is as it occurred in the game, but this chapter is from Malavai's POV and the next is from my warrior's POV. Now that you know what is happening, this tells their reactions to the events. Once I have that level set, we have a couple more chapters to go in this saga.

Yet this inconstancy is such    
  As thou too shalt adore;     
I could not love thee, Dear, so much,    
  Loved I not Honour more.  
From "To Lucasta, going to the Wars"  
By Richard Lovelace, 1618-1658

 

As they entered the room, Malavai pulled ahead of Jaera and walked to the center of the room. His head was down, facing away from her and he knew he had to work up the courage to start this. He thought of Baras, and of the day they found the crew unconscious with Baras' apprentice standing in the middle of the carnage. He thought of the day Baras and his apprentice tried to kill Jaera and in that he found his courage. He turned and began in his instructor voice which he knew she always found annoying.

"My lord, I regret that our paths must diverge. Out of respect, I wanted to be here to witness your fate."

Jaera questioned him, "What fate, Quinn? What are you talking about?" he could see that she began to suspect, that a fear began to take hold of her that she did know what he was talking about. He used that.

"It's Darth Baras. It pains me, but this entire scenario is a ruse. There's no martial law and no special signal emitter. Baras is my true master. He had me lure you here to have you killed."

Jaera's hurt was clear in those amber eyes. " I thought our relationship was real. I thought we cared about each other."

Quinn forced himself to focus on the moment. It was key that he take advantage of any chink in her armor. "I didn't want to choose between the two of you. But he's forced my hand, and I must side with him. Once you're gone, your crew will either join Baras with me or be killed."

He could see that his shot about the crew had been well aimed. He saw it hit home and the reaction from her that showed she was closing up, shoring up her defenses for the battle she knew was coming.

She tried to reason with him, tried to find a trace of the man she had loved and married. "You know who I'm working for. If you stand against me, you stand against the Emperor himself." 

He knew he couldn't let her find even that trace. No hope could remain, "The Emperor is an absentee landlord. Baras is doing what any real patriot would do.". 

Her face flickered and his heart hurt for her. He knew her so well he could see the exact moment she realized that this wasn't a dream or a joke. She took out her lightsabers in a sweeping movement.

Out loud, she said, "You know what will happen if you attempt to fight me."

Quinn shook his head calmly and replied as if reciting facts, "After all this time observing you in battle I have exhaustively noted your strengths and weaknesses." There was a whir of electronic doors. Two battle droids stepped into the room behind him. Their canons were focused on Jaera. "These war droids have been programmed specifically to combat you. I calculate a near zero percent chance of their failure."

Jaera's face was cold to him now. "Statistics will not save you here. All this time I have been holding back. You will now see what I am capable of." 

Despite her brave words, her first attack faltered. He very nearly panicked with fear for her. She leapt for Quinn directly, ignoring the droids. His blaster fire caught her in the side. The mistake threw him off his game. For a moment he worried that he would not be able to control this. He had counted on his expert marksman abilities and his expert knowledge of her. He had not counted that the emotion might make her vulnerable and rash.

He saw her take a deep breath that he knew she used with the Sith code to focus herself. A faint shimmer appeared around her - the manifestation of her force shield. He took hope that all would not be a disaster now. He watched for the slight gesture that indicated she was incapacitating a droid and felt the relief flood him when she did. In a blur of motion, she then leapt to the opposite droid and he nearly forgot to get the blaster fire off in order to keep this charade up.

In a moment that droid was incapacitated and she was back to the first. A quick saber to the data cortex incapacitated the droid. She finished the move by turning toward him on the pull-away, cutting him in the side and cutting his blaster in half. His hand pulled back from the cut and the remains of the now useless blaster fell to the floor. 

He knew the scenario was nearly up and bolstered his thoughts with the fact that in a few moments he would no longer have to hurt her and would be unlikely to cause her pain again.

Slowly, he got up to face the Emperor's Wrath, clutching his wound. "I should have known. I thought I'd programmed the perfect killing machine for you. I was painstakingly precise." his side hurt and he grimaced involuntarily while delivering the speech he had practiced. "I have betrayed you. Conspired with your most hated enemy. I know it is meaningless to express my deep regret. I don't expect your mercy." He hoped that would be enough to make her end it. For both their sakes.

Her hand raised in a sharp gesture. "It's useless to defy me" she told him and in her anger sent him flying across the room. The impact with the wall stunned him. She tightened her fist and was choking him with her will. Then Quinn felt himself hit the floor, but was unable to look while in the grip of her power. For a few moments, his vision grayed out. Something pushed him over to his back and he realized he could breathe again. He sat up slowly, rubbing his neck.  
Her next words were delivered in a cold tone that reassured him that he might have been successful even as he felt his heart constrict from their tone. "I will keep you alive and we will see if you earn my trust again." 

He was startled, but he had prepared for this possibility. "My lord, I’m … this is unexpected. Darth Baras would never forgive such a failure." He focused his thoughts, appeared to collect himself, and added, "If you will permit me to stay in your charge, my dedication to you will never come into question again." He knew she would never trust him again now so it was safe for him to stay and watch over her.

Her voice still cold, she added, "You can rejoin the crew, but you are no longer welcome in my quarters."

The word slipped out, heartfelt, before he could sensor them "My actions have cost me dearly, then." He was annoyed with himself - this was all for naught if she felt sorry for him. His next words were more businesslike. "This interruption has delayed you enough. I’m eager to return to the ship and put this behind us."

She turned and walked out into the corridor allowing him to follow her. When she reached the hatchway to the ship she stopped. "The ship is through there. Prepare for departure. I’ll join you shortly." Her voice was brusque, but he could hear the pain in it.

"Of course, my lord." He paused before moving and looked at her. "One thing, my lord – do you plan on telling the others what happened?" He needed to know if he would be compromised in trying to protect her.

Her response was curt. "No one else must know. It would compromise your ability to lead. Am I understood?" 

He couldn't prevent the relief from his voice as he replied, "I appreciate it my lord, I will see you back at the ship." He forced himself to look away from the storm in her eyes and move forward into the ship to resume his duties.  
He could see that her control of her power was imperfect now. There were stories told at the academy, in whispers, of Sith who had lost control of great power and what had resulted. Ships were destroyed, lives were lost, and once a third of a planet had been uninhabitable for the better part of a century. For this moment he would remove himself so she could find her control. 

He moved to his quarters, needing a moment for his own control. Unexpectedly he felt like tears. He hadn't cried since his parents let him at the academy as a very young child. Sitting at his desk, he put his head in his hands. The deed was done. His wife was safe and her vision for the Empire had been bolstered by his sacrifice. She had not killed him but she would no longer trust him. He could make the difference by watching for danger in the background.

He took out the holo communicator and wondered again if he should contact Darth Baras. He knew that was pain talking - his decision to discontinue communication with Baras had been correct, but he felt the need to do something - anything to keep from thinking about what he lost.

It wasn't until he looked at his hands, saw the blood and the crushed pieces of communicator, that his spine stiffened and he cursed himself for being self-indulgent. He dropped the pieces in the disposal, quickly washed his hands and went out to assist in briefing the crew. The execution of his plan was not complete yet and after all, this was a very long game he had to play.


	3. Honor More - Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is set one week after chapter one and is my Sith Warrior's POV on the fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Star Wars, or Richard Lovelace's poetry, but it seemed to fit here. Much of this is as it occurred in the game, but this chapter is from Malavai's POV and the next is from my warrior's POV. Now that you know what is happening, this tells their reactions to the events. Once I have that level set, we have a couple more chapters to go in this saga.

Yet this inconstancy is such    
  As thou too shalt adore;     
I could not love thee, Dear, so much,    
  Loved I not Honour more.   
From "To Lucasta, going to the Wars"  
By Richard Lovelace, 1618-1658

 

As they entered the room, Malavai pulled ahead of Jaera and walked to the center of the room. His head was down, facing away from her and she assumed that his ever present plas-display was being consulted for the next phase of his brilliant plan. Looking around, the Sith Lord wondered where the beacon was kept. Malavai was more knowledgeable in this sort of thing, but she didn’t see any location that a beacon would be kept here. Looking back, she realized he stood with his back towards her and his hands clasped behind his back. She opened her mouth to ask what was next, but he spoke first.

"My lord, I regret that our paths must diverge. Out of respect, I wanted to be here to witness your fate."

Confused and a bit concerned, Jaera questioned him, "What fate, Quinn? What are you talking about?"

Inside, a fear began to blossom and take hold. This couldn’t be what she thought it was. But, somewhere inside, the fear knew differently.

"It's Darth Baras. It pains me, but this entire scenario is a ruse. There's no martial law and no special signal emitter. Baras is my true master. He had me lure you here to have you killed."

Jaera's heart hurt. In a detached fashion, she wondered why it physically hurt – wasn’t heart pain supposed to be emotional? Numbly, she wondered if this is why Sith were not supposed to make love matches for marriage. Was it really possible for your heart to tear through your chest? They’d been talking about having children …. " I thought our relationship was real. I thought we cared about each other."

"I didn't want to choose between the two of you. But he's forced my hand, and I must side with him. Once you're gone, your crew will either join Baras with me or be killed."

"Of course!" Jaera thought. I could not love thee half so much dear, loved I not honor more. It was a line Malavai had loved from a poetry book he had in his office. When they discussed it, he told her it had to do with self-respect and fulfilling duty in order to be a person worthy of love. She had wondered at the time if he loved her as much as he loved his duty and his Empire. Now she had her answer. 

She tried to reason with him, knowing that with his resolve, it was in vain. "You know who I'm working for. If you stand against me, you stand against the Emperor himself." Where was the man who loved her at night and told her she was everything he believed in?

"The Emperor is an absentee landlord. Baras is doing what any real patriot would do." His words fell on her like blows. After everything, after all they had been through, he picked his career and Baras over her. It was in that moment, she thought, that her heart actually broke.

Fortunately, she had grown up without happiness. It was a familiar place and she did what she had always done - let training take over. She drew her lightsabers, activating them as they swept around in an arc of green fire. It was said that a warrior's lightsaber color was a reflection of their personality. A part of her wondered what color hers would be after she had been forced to kill her husband. Out loud, she said, "You know what will happen if you attempt to fight me."  
Quinn shook his head calmly and replied as if reciting facts, "After all this time observing you in battle I have exhaustively noted your strengths and weaknesses." There was a whir of electronic doors. Two battle droids stepped into the room behind him. Their canons were focused on Jaera.

Why couldn’t he have killed her in her sleep? It would have been kinder for him to let her die while still happy. 

"These war droids have been programmed specifically to combat you. I calculate a near zero percent chance of their failure."

Jaera thought of the rest of the crew. When the seer on Voss had told her that one of her own would betray her, she had never thought it would be Quinn. She had assumed it had to be one of the other crewmembers. If I don’t live through this, she thought, forgive me for doubting the rest of you. I was blinded. "Statistics will not save you here. All this time I have been holding back. You will now see what I am capable of." 

Despite her brave words, her first attack faltered. She was stupid – leaping for Quinn directly and ignoring the droids. Her move to avoid the droids energy bolts had been clumsy and Quinn's blaster fire had caught her in the side. She reeled, upset with her stupidity, only to recover and land behind him and the droids. Stupid Cow - letting a man distract her this way. He expected her to do that – deliberately hurt her to humiliate her. After strategizing hundreds of scenarios based on her skills, he knew her so well. She would have to work outside of her known patterns. 

Jaera took a calming breath and focused her pain and her suffering into the power and away from her body. She was fighting like a novice. She needed to be clever and unpredictable when fighting a man who knew all of her secrets. Jaera pulled a shield around herself and began to focus. One of her best powers was incapacitating droids. He had forgotten that. She focused and one droid began to shake from a running short circuit.

Without looking to telegraph her move, she leapt with blinding speed towards the other droid. A few deft swipes of her lightsabers incapacitated that one and left her facing the other. By the time she leapt back to the first droid, she was twisting in midair to avoid the shots the Quinn had managed to get off. 

Moving inside the battle droid’s reach, Jaera incapacitated it with a quick saber thrust into its data cortex while blocking blaster fire from Quinn with the other saber. As she pulled back from the thrust, she brought both light sabers around, cutting Quinn in the side, and slicing his blaster in half. Quinn felt to the floor heavily, clutching his side in pain.

Slowly, he got up to face the Emperor's Wrath, clutching his wound. "I should have known. I thought I'd programmed the perfect killing machine for you. I was painstakingly precise." he grimaced. "I have betrayed you. Conspired with your most hated enemy. I know it is meaningless to express my deep regret. I don't expect your mercy."

Her hand raised in a sharp gesture. "It's useless to defy me" she told him and in her anger sent him flying across the room. The impact with the wall appeared to stun him. Her vision became red and she realized she had tightened her fist and was choking him with her will. In a moment of horror she pulled back, and Quinn fell to the floor looking lifeless. She went toward him and pushed him onto his back with her boot. Anger rode her now as it never had before in her life. She dare not touch him lest she kill him. She couldn't remember the last time her rage had made her so strong in the force. He sat up after a moment rubbing his neck. 

She forced her voice to be even, but where she would have preferred no emotion, even she could hear the bitterness in her tone. "I will keep you alive and we will see if you earn my trust again." 

He looked startled. "My lord, I’m … this is unexpected. Darth Baras would never forgive such a failure." He appeared to collect himself and added, "If you will permit me to stay in your charge, my dedication to you will never come into question again."

Her heart hurt at these words - how easily he changed sides again. She forced her voice to be cold. "You can rejoin the crew, but you are no longer welcome in my quarters."

"My actions have cost me dearly, then." He paused and she willed herself not to react to the sadness in his voice. His next words were more businesslike. "This interruption has delayed you enough. I’m eager to return to the ship and put this behind us."

She walked out into the corridor allowing him to follow her. When she reached the hatchway to the ship she stopped. "The ship is through there. Prepare for departure. I’ll join you shortly."

"Of course, my lord." He paused before moving and looked at her. "One thing, my lord – do you plan on telling the others what happened?"

Her response was curt. "No one else must know. It would compromise your ability to lead. Am I understood?" 

He sounded relieved as he replied, "I appreciate it my lord. I will see you back at the ship." She wondered if she was being quiet to spare his command or her humiliation.

Inside her, fury reigned. She could forgive the ambitious Imperial Captain for being led astray by Baras. She knew that her earlier life had uniquely prepared her for it. She had grown up learning the lesson to never trust. She could not, and would not, forgive her husband for betraying her by talking about having children with her one day and turning against her the next. 

Her fury rumbled inside her threatening to overflow like a volcano. Sparks crackled as the power inside her reacted and grew stronger with her anger. this was why the Jedi preached lack of emotion to their Padawans and the Sith taught their Apprentices to harness their power. A truly powerful and angry Sith could level a planet. She had always harnessed her power by throwing her emotion into the force and remaining calm. Now, she wondered if she had the control to contain her emotion. She was too upset to control it and could kill them all in a wild burst of power. 

Jaera took a deep breath, slowly let it out and began to repeat the Sith Code. "Peace is a lie ..."

It was time to go in and plan for the next step of her fight with her old master. She'd show him what the Emperor's Wrath could do.


	4. Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is part of a longer chapter, but I wanted to separate them since it has been so long since I posted. This is set right after the last chapter. If you have ever been kicked in the stomach, physically or emotionally, this should relate for you.

Jaera stepped into her room, closed the door behind her and managed to reach the mirror before she hunched over double holding her stomach. She couldn't catch her breath.

How could she have been so stupid? She'd been lulled into a false sense of security by the family they had built and the love she felt for Malavai - Quinn now, she corrected herself grimly. Never Malavai ... or husband ... again. Her life before the academy should have prepared her for this. People betray you. Those that should love you betray you. It is the Sith way. She had just thought that Quinn was different. She began to order her thoughts with a technique she had used when she was young and her family had not been interested in her. She was always a dutiful daughter. But she never gave them tears or feelings. It was a point of pride for her.

She had heard people talking of heartache and had always thought them overly dramatic or fools. She was the fool here, she supposed. It certainly felt like she'd been punched or stabbed. No ... That had happened before, but had never felt so personal. Love had brought her to this - everything and everyone she cared about at risk because she let her guard down. She began the Sith ritual ... "Peace is a lie.. " but it didn't help like it had once. Her power pushed up stronger inside her and in desperation, she pushed it down. She was the Emperor's Wrath. She couldn't let her power run away from her like a novice. She had been disciplined in this since she was born. She wasn't the unwary idiot who would release power and kill those around her.

But it felt like she was going to explode.

The door opened and she heard his quiet voice. "My lord ..." Quinn hesitated, "is there anything I can do for you?"

She hated that he knew her well enough to know he had hurt her. That she was transparent enough for him to be able to see her pain. She had been able to keep her feelings to herself since she was a small child preventing her parents and rivals from betraying her. And now her betrayer knew her best. Sparks of power crackled in the air around her head.

She would not let herself look at him. Her mind screamed at him, "Why!?!", but her voice was only a little ragged when she answered frantically " Go - my control is weak right now. I can't lose control of the power."

"My lord, I wanted ..."

"Wanted what Quinn?" her laugh was harsh and bitter, " I gave you your life and your position back ... those are the only things you value .... what else could you possibly want?"

He backed out without another word and she sank down to the floor leaning against the wall. Her eyes burned relentlessly, but she had never cried in her memory. Somehow, her body kept on breathing - how was she doing that?

The door slid open. Enraged, she moved her head to glare at the person in the doorway. " Quinn, I don't want you..... " her voice trailed off as it was Vette in the doorway.

"My lord?" Vette asked tentatively " The Captain said you needed ....oh..."

Vette came in the door and sat on the floor next to Jaera. Tentatively, she put her arm around her boss. "I had that look on my face once." she said, her sweet voice a balm to Jaera's ears. " We'll just sit here for a bit until it passes." When Jaera didn't resist, she hugged her. "It's going to be okay".

Jaera continued to curse Quinn in her head. She couldn't bring herself, even mentally, to thank him for still knowing exactly what she needed as her head went down on Vette's shoulder and for the first time in her life, she cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies to the delay in continuance. The holidays were rough on me this year and I couldn't seem to concentrate well enough to finish up this next section. I am lengthening the amount of chapters in this saga so I can release smaller portions at a time. I have almost all of the last section completed. A few of the in-between pieces have been especially difficult for me to finish as I would like the pieces to pull together. 
> 
> Once I get this complete, I have a bunch of little ficlets that I hope to pull together. I hope you enjoy them.


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